What does ‘lesbian’ mean?

The word lesbian describes a girl or woman who is attracted, both sexually and emotionally to other girls or women.

It is normal to question your sexuality and part of growing up is discovering and learning about yourself.  It is also normal to have feelings towards other women and to be attracted to other women.


Am I old enough to know?

Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong age to realise you are a lesbian.  Sexuality can be fluid and you may be attracted to different people at different times in your life.

Young people are often told that they don’t know themselves well enough or should wait until they are older before they decide.  Many young women say they have known for a long time that they feel ‘different’ to other women and they are aware of their attraction to other women at a young age.  It’s okay to feel like this and it is okay to change your mind.  Sexuality does not need to be fixed forever – for some people it will be, and for others it might shift over time.

What do lesbians looks like?

Myths and stereotypes about lesbians can lead people to believe that all women who identify as lesbian must look and act masculine (often referred to as butch).  Lesbians are as varied and different as straight people, some may be butch but others may be very feminine.  Being a lesbian is not a way of life, it is a part of life.  Straight people are not defined just by who they are attracted to, so there is no reason why you should be.  Stereotypes don’t really define any individual; we are much too diverse for that! You can be exactly the person you want to be and should never feel pressure to act or look a certain way.

Is it normal?

There are still some messages out there that make us believe that it is not okay or normal for a girl or woman to fancy another girl or woman.  Some societies and communities do not accept this difference.  It is completely normal to have feelings for other girls or women and we can offer support and advice to help you feel more comfortable about who you are.