Same Sex Partners in Crime

The abuse that dare not speak its name is emerging from the shadows, and an event in Scotland this week is training frontline support services

‘YOU’RE useless”, “You’re going nowhere”, “You look a state”, “You’re a waste of space”, read a series of billboards, part
of a campaign against domestic abuse, while the tagline explained: “Too many women suffer from psychological abuse – day in, day out.” Recent campaigns such as this have been helping to end the silence surrounding domestic abuse, which kills two women every week in the UK.

But another truth is emerging: recent research – from the British Medical Association, academics and police – demonstrates that domestic abuse is not confined to heterosexual relationships. In fact, figures suggest that abuse is common regardless of sexual orientation.

Just as in heterosexual couples, around one in four people in lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) relationships is expected to experience it at some point. And while under-reporting is endemic in the heterosexual community, even fewer people in samesex relationships speak out. .

While hard facts and statistics are rare, service providers have met many lesbians, gays, bisexuals and some transsexuals who have experienced insufferable abuse. In training sessions, service providers have highlighted examples such as the experience of John (not his real name), a gay man whose partner Michael abused him for seven years before beating him up so badly he was hospitalised. Meanwhile, Jill was subjected to a torrent of emotional abuse that left her terrified of her girlfriend.

Some were able to find help. Others, such as Ewan – a bisexual man being abused by his partner David – found he was simply unable to explain his relationship to police. With this in mind, the primary aim of the LGBT Domestic Abuse project, formed by LGBT Youth Scotland with the support of partners including Stonewall Scotland, is to have as wide a  reach as possible. Central to that is targeting frontline support services, including police, social workers and housing officers who come into contact with sufferers of domestic abuse and need to know how to respond.

“The best thing to do is to train the people who are already very skilled in handling domestic abuse, giving them information about the unique experience of people from LGBT backgrounds,”

Training days held in three pilot areas – Dumfries and Galloway, Grampian and Glasgow – have been fully booked and well received. And on Thursday and Friday this week the project will join Scottish Women’s Aid to offer its first national training event, in Edinburgh. This is designed for those who have an understanding of domestic abuse and want to learn more about its impacts on the LGBT community.

Scottish Women’s Aid, believes that the additional training will help improve their organisation’s services. “The focus of our work has been on the violence that women experience from male partners ... but there has been a growing awareness that it also takes places in LGBT relationships.”
THE ABUSER WILL TRY TO CONTROL THEIR PARTNER, TELLING THEM WHO THEY CAN SEE AND WHERE THEY GO
Scottish Women's Aid also believes that LGBT groups can shed light on how domestic abuse functions. “One of the most important lessons that can be learnt is that we shouldn’t just focus on physical violence ... Domestic abuse is about a pattern of behaviour that constitutes coercive control. The abuser [is] someone who will try to micro- manage their partner’s behaviour – tell them where they can go, who they can see, what they can wear – in an attempt to get that control.”

According to Sunderland University, who published research on the problem last November, an understanding of this aspect
of domestic abuse is fundamental. Their study compared heterosexual and same-sex domestic violence and found that while there were many similarities, the LGBT community suffered from the perception that abuse in relationships between two men or two women would lead to a “fair fight”. “There was also a feeling from our LGBT interviewees that there was no point in reporting because no-one was going to understand how a man could be victim of abuse from another man, or a woman from another woman.”

Research backs up their fears. “There was traditionally a disbelief that samesex domestic abuse could be happening, particularly in a lesbian relationships because of the feminist influenced ideas that once you were free of men you could have utopia. The idea that women could be violent, or that men could be victims, was challenging.”

The research found that other factors were feeding the silence. Some who were not open about their sexuality had partners who threatened to out them if they didn’t comply. Others, particularly when the victim was in his or her first gay or lesbian relationship, revealed it was the perpetrator who was not out. This could be used as a way of isolating their partner from the gay scene, and possible support.

When people did report abuse, their experiences of support were mixed. The research found that people did not necessarily want specialised services. “The  interviewees said that they preferred mainstream services. They felt that mainstream services should be able to provide the same for everyone regardless of their sexuality.”

The LGBT Domestic Abuse hopes that training can deliver this. “It can be something very simple like a woman presenting at a general support service and workers there automatically talk about her partner as ‘he’. Though there’s no bad intention, if someone is very vulnerable and unsure it could just be the thing that prevents them from continuing.”

Supporting LGBT People Experiencing Domestic Abuse runs on Thursdayand Friday at Scottish Women’s Aid in Edinburgh. See www.scottishwomensaid.org.uk or call 0131 226 6606.