Sexual Health
Your sexual health and your sexuality is an important part of everyone’s life, growing up and being a human being! LGBT Youth Scotland wants to let you know about important rights and responsibilities you have to look after yourself and other people. It is sometimes difficult to get the right information, so have a look at the information available here and if you still have questions or are unsure about anything get in touch via the Contact Us section of the website.
If you have chosen to have sex, this experience should be fun, pleasurable, healthy, safe, consensual and empowering! It’s very important that when we think about healthy sex we understand what the potential harmful outcomes are as well as having the proper information and options on how to reduce this harm. We have a right to access information and services that are accurate and relevant to our sexualities or our choice to have or not to have sex.
Remember:
- The choice not to have sex is equally valid
- The choice not to rush into it is also healthy and valid
- Your choice is your choice!
- If or when you choose to have sex, make your decision a HEALTHY ONE
What is Healthy Sex?
“If it’s safe, fun, legal and consensual – it’s all good.” Good Vibrations
Healthy Sex should be sex that is SAFE:
- Protect yourself and your partner from HIV, unwanted STIs and/or unexpected pregnancy
- Think about personal safety
Tips on making your sex safer:
- Use a condom
- Use loads of lube
- Use a dental dam
- Get regular tests
- Get hepatitis A & B immunisations
- Discuss safe sex options before having sex
- Start off slow
- Choose a safe environment
For more safe sex tips, including HIV and STI testing, check out:
There are many ways to practice safer sex without killing the romance. Be upfront about what you’re into and never do anything you don’t want to.
Consensual
Consensual sex is when both you and your partner have agreed to have sex and you both want to have sex.
Sex is not consensual when someone was forced into having it. Sex coercion is when someone was bullied or intimidated into having sex against their will – THIS IS ABUSE!
Sometimes you might want to have sex with someone and you start, but during having the sex it doesn’t feel right. Even when it feels good but something is not right or you feel that you’ve lost some control, it’s much better to stop and discuss it rather than to continue and end up regretting it.
Don’t assume what your partner is thinking – communicate! Talk to your partner about where you are at and about your expectations and limitations. Ask about their expectations and limitations. It’s a good idea to be clear about expectations before having sex. Different people are at different places and what turns you on might not turn your partner on. If you or your partner want to try something new, communicate to find out whether both of you are in total consent.
Open relationships might need more than 2 people to consent – remember keep lines of communication open and avoid having sex with someone if you are doing it just to upset someone else.
Fun
The experience of sex should be pleasurable, enjoyable and fun. It’s a good idea to ask yourself why you want to have sex, is it because you’re in a relationship? Is it because you find your consenting partner really attractive? Or is it because you’re lonely or maybe you just want fun?
Whatever the reason it’s important you know why you want to, as having sex for the wrong reason ends up being plain old bad sex.
Wrong reasons to have sex might include:
- Peer Pressure – to prove to your friends you’re having sex. You should only have sex when you are ready yourself
- To tease a jealous ex-partner
- Your friends are telling you that they have started to have sex
- To emotionally connect to someone when your partner doesn’t want intimacy, only sex
- You’re not attracted to the person but you feel good that they have an interest in you
- You’re being asked to have sex for a reason other than the fun or for someone else’s benefit – money or even shelter
- You’re having sex because someone else has promised you something in return
Legal
The age of consent in Scotland for boys and girls is 16. This means that if both people having sex are 16 years or older, and both want to have sex, then sex is legal. The age of consent is the same for heterosexual, lesbian, bisexual and gay people.
However, there are some situations that could get you or your partner into trouble with the police, and someone could be prosecuted. These situations include:
- When your partner is below the age of 16 and you are not
- When you are under the age of 16 and your partner is not
- When the sex is exploitive, abusive or manipulated
- Taking sexual advantage of a vulnerable person
- Sex in a public place
More information
For under 16s:
http://www.healthyrespect.co.uk/
http://www.avert.org/
For over 16s:
www.healthygayscotland.com
www.hivcomebacktour.co.uk
http://www.gmh.org.uk/
Beating About the Bush